Note: Today's post is part of the CW blog chain. The topic is "Gifts of the Heart". Please check out my sidebar, further down on the right, to see some great posts by other writers.
I never realized before how much of a performance based society we live in, where the opinions of others weigh so heavily on what we’ve done, versus who we are, until this past year.
I never realized before how much of a performance based society we live in, where the opinions of others weigh so heavily on what we’ve done, versus who we are, until this past year.
A string of deaths in my family knocked the wind out of my sails (cliché intended), and I found myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained.
As a result, I stopped performing.
The responses I received from others, though, shocked me.
“What about me?”
“You don’t want to get lazy.”
“You have to move on. It happens.”
“I need . . .”
“I want . . .”
To be honest, the way people reacted was my fault. I’ve always been the type of woman to jump in and get the job done, no matter what. The poor folks weren’t used to my peculiar behavior. I hadn’t given them anything but performance. Even though their reactions stung, they ended up enlightening me.
As I sat on my couch one morning, mulling over everything that had happened, my heart grew heavy. Has my viewpoint been skewed because I thought performance is what it takes to receive love?
Tears filled my eyes. I feel so alone, God. I’m afraid. What do I do now? All I’ve ever known is to do, do, do.
Then my mother’s words, which she spoke the night before she died, came back to my mind. You need to slow down, honey. Take care of yourself.
On the heels of my mother's former admonishment, a Bible verse I’d heard at church a few weeks prior rang in my ears. “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28 KJV).
Moments later, the following thoughts overshadowed my heart. God accepts you for who you are. His love for you isn’t based on what you do. It’s about what Jesus did. God loves you unconditionally, no matter what. Rest.
Talk about a gift.
I leaned my head against the couch, closed my eyes, and fell asleep.
No, my worth isn't measured in how high I’ve jumped, how wonderful I’ve been, or how much I’ve done for others. It's not even based on where I’ve fallen short. God overcame all of these things with the greatest gift of all—Jesus. His unconditional love is all that really matters. Without Him, I’m nothing. None of us are.
May God bless each and every one of you this holiday season. I pray that you see your true worth, that your Christmas be filled with His love, and that you find rest in His arms.