Note: Today's post is part of the CW blog chain. The topic is "Quest". Please check out my sidebar, further down on the right, to see some great posts by other writers.
I’ve been on numerous quests during my life. Sometimes I’ve been successful. Many times, though, I’ve stumbled and fallen, wondering if I’d ever get up again. It was during the tough times that my greatest treasures found me, when I wasn’t even searching for them at all.
Years ago, after escaping an abusive relationship, I swore off men—and my walk with God. The beatings I endured caused me not only physical pain—that was the easiest part of it—but also left me emotionally scarred. I figured I had to be some sort of worthless person. Otherwise, why would such a thing have happened?
And people wonder why I have such a sparkling personality.
Ahem.
I began living like a wild horse, which no human could tame.
About a year later, I stood at work one afternoon, listening to one of my coworkers.
About a year later, I stood at work one afternoon, listening to one of my coworkers.
“Deb,” she said, “you need to come to church with me so you can find a good man.”
I gritted my teeth. “I don’t want another man, thank you very much.” I shot her an icy glare. “Besides, the kind you're talking about doesn't exist.”
Her eyes held a peculiar gleam. “Yes, they do.”
I jutted my chin. “I’ll tell you what. If God sends me a good man, I’ll quit my job, have babies, and take care of the house.” I carried my cocky attitude well. I knew it would never happen.
She smiled. “We’ll see about that.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Yes, we will.” Nosy thing.
A few weeks later, she approached me again. “Want to go to church with me tonight?”
“I told you, I don’t want a man.”
“You still need to go. Come on, Deb. Please?”
Did I ever mention that I have S-A-P engraved on my forehead?
I took her up on her offer.
The service started with some hymns. Moments later, my eyes filled with tears. What is wrong with me?
I shook myself, just as a boxer would do before a match. Just didn’t get enough sleep last night, that’s all.
Toward the end of the service, a strange sensation washed over me. It seemed as though a giant, invisible magnet sat at the altar—and I was the tiny piece of metal in its path.
I inched my way forward, finally snapping to attention as I approached my destination. And do you know what happened?
God met me there. Years of pent up pain washed down my face in a torrent of tears.
I haven’t been the same since.
Looking back on it now, I’m grateful God didn’t give up on me. No matter what I did, He kept pursuing me, His unconditional love always present.
Speaking of which, no matter who you are, where you’re at, or what you’ve done, I want you to know that God’s love is always there for you. His eyes run to and fro throughout the whole earth, seeking someone to show Himself strong through—no prerequisites required. Isn't that good to know?
Oh, I almost forgot. I later met a man, in that very same church. We recently celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary.
May God’s love find you, just as it found me.
