Saturday, January 28, 2012

Love Found Me

Note: Today's post is part of the CW blog chain. The topic is "Quest". Please check out my sidebar, further down on the right, to see some great posts by other writers.

I’ve been on numerous quests during my life. Sometimes I’ve been successful. Many times, though, I’ve stumbled and fallen, wondering if I’d ever get up again. It was during the tough times that my greatest treasures found me, when I wasn’t even searching for them at all.

Years ago, after escaping an abusive relationship, I swore off men—and my walk with God. The beatings I endured caused me not only physical pain—that was the easiest part of it—but also left me emotionally scarred. I figured I had to be some sort of worthless person. Otherwise, why would such a thing have happened?
And people wonder why I have such a sparkling personality.
Ahem.
I began living like a wild horse, which no human could tame. 

About a year later, I stood at work one afternoon, listening to one of my coworkers.
“Deb,” she said, “you need to come to church with me so you can find a good man.”
I gritted my teeth. “I don’t want another man, thank you very much.” I shot her an icy glare. “Besides, the kind you're talking about doesn't exist.”
Her eyes held a peculiar gleam. “Yes, they do.”
I jutted my chin. “I’ll tell you what. If God sends me a good man, I’ll quit my job, have babies, and take care of the house.” I carried my cocky attitude well. I knew it would never happen.
She smiled. “We’ll see about that.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Yes, we will.” Nosy thing.
A few weeks later, she approached me again. “Want to go to church with me tonight?”
“I told you, I don’t want a man.”
“You still need to go. Come on, Deb. Please?”
Did I ever mention that I have S-A-P engraved on my forehead?
I took her up on her offer.
The service started with some hymns. Moments later, my eyes filled with tears. What is wrong with me?
I shook myself, just as a boxer would do before a match. Just didn’t get enough sleep last night, that’s all.
Toward the end of the service, a strange sensation washed over me. It seemed as though a giant, invisible magnet sat at the altar—and I was the tiny piece of metal in its path.
I inched my way forward, finally snapping to attention as I approached my destination. And do you know what happened?
God met me there. Years of pent up pain washed down my face in a torrent of tears.
I haven’t been the same since.
Looking back on it now, I’m grateful God didn’t give up on me. No matter what I did, He kept pursuing me, His unconditional love always present.
Speaking of which, no matter who you are, where you’re at, or what you’ve done, I want you to know that God’s love is always there for you. His eyes run to and fro throughout the whole earth, seeking someone to show Himself strong through—no prerequisites required. Isn't that good to know?
Oh, I almost forgot. I later met a man, in that very same church. We recently celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary.
May God’s love find you, just as it found me.

36 comments:

  1. I can't imagine what it's like to be in an abusive relationship. Kudos to you for overcoming through the Lord and for your co-worker who was obedient to Him as well.

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    1. It was rough, Pegg. That's for sure. (It's not time that heals all wounds. It's God who does the job.)

      Thank you so much for stopping by.

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  2. That was amazing, thanks so much for sharing such a wonderful story. God is so amazing! The way he sets off a domino effect to bring us to Him. If you hadn't worked where you did, if you hadn't met that co-worker...God always has a plan for us it's terrific. May the Lord continue to bless you and your family!

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    1. Thank YOU for stopping by, Suzette.

      You voiced it well. It really was a domino effect that brought me to Him. I think I'm a stronger person now because of it.

      God bless you.

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  3. Deborah - a wonderful testimony to the grace and power of God. As Suzette wrote, it's amazing how He sets everyone and everything in place. Many would think it's chance or coincidence, but we know it's His grace and power at work.

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    1. Amen to that, Bill. There's no chance or coincidence when it comes to our lives. God ordains everything to accomplish His purpose.

      Thank you so much for stopping by.

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  4. You are so blessed, and what a great story you have to tell! My imagination ran wild with all types of romance novels waiting to be written with this heroess at the head. :) Thank you for sharing, Deb, what a great ending to God's quest to find you.

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    1. I am blessed, Nona. I lived to tell the tale.

      You know, it's funny you mentioned the romance novels. After I wrote this, I did the exact same thing you did. Maybe we should team up and brainstorm together. :-)

      Thanks so much for coming by.

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    2. What a great story, and well-written. I can just see you saying it, and I can relate. It's so nice to meet someone like you with whom I have so many things in common! I look forward to keeping in touch.

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    3. Rosslyn! It's so good to see you here. Thank you for your words of encouragement.

      It's been my pleasure to meet you. I definitely want to keep in touch. Better still, maybe we can go horseback riding one of these days. :-)

      Thanks so much for stopping by.

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  5. And 30 years later... I love your story Deborah, thank you for sharing it today! Generally, the thing that holds us back is ourselves... yes, it takes time to heal painful wounds... but, as you know He is right there waiting with open arms. Big :-) to you and our wonderful God !!

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    1. You're so right, Chris. I was holding myself back but didn't even realize it at the time.

      A big :-) to you, brother. Thank you so much for stopping by.

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  6. biiiiiiiig hug.
    you didn't even know you were on a Quest to meet Jesus but He did and met you on the way.
    beautiful post.

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    1. I didn't know I was on that quest at the time, no, but it's just as you said. God had it orchestrated all along.

      A big hug back at you, brother. Thank you for coming by.

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  7. Beautiful! Love it! Thank you for sharing.

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    1. I'm glad you enjoyed it, Debra.

      Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate it.

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  8. Wow. Thank you for sharing such a deep post Deborah. I'm glad that God took you out of such a painful experience and brought you into his hope.

    I love reading people's testimonies so thanks for sharing.

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    1. I'm glad you enjoyed reading this, Adam. Your post, and the posts of others, have been such a blessing to me.

      Thank you so much for visiting.

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  9. I had no idea you had been through so much pain. I have a special place in my heart for abused people, though I know I can't befriend all of them. I'd like to be a caring friend who will listen and aid the Lord's healing.

    There are those who would say we don't really seek Jesus, He seeks us. I think it's a little of both. He waits till we're at our weakest moment, then He holds out His hand like the Lord to the drowning Peter, and says, "Here, let Me help." It is then our choice to either take His hand or drown.

    I'm happy to have you in the Family, Deb.

    ~ VT

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    1. Not many people on here did know, Victor. I had only mentioned it to several of my friends. I guess they'll know now, won't they?

      As far as others saying we don't really seek Jesus, well, I agree with you. I also think it's a little of both.

      Oh, just so you know, you just showed yourself as a friend who listens and aids in the Lord's healing. Thank you.

      I'm grateful God led me to the lot of you. What a blessing you all are.

      Thank you so much for stopping by.

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  10. A wonderful story. I recently heard someone say, "There's nowhere Jesus won't go to get you back." God's love is truly unbelievable. That hound of heaven is always on our trail. Congratulations on 30 years of marriage. Peace and Blessings.

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    1. Just read your article in the online magazine. One of my mentor writers, Kay Presto, has had many a dream to inspire her to write - especially now that she's writing children's stories.

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    2. Isn't that something, Christine?

      You know, it's so funny you mentioned this. I've often wondered if God isn't going to take me down the same path as your mentor. :-)

      Thanks so much for reading my article at CFOM. Thank you for taking the time to post here. It is truly appreciated. I hope to see you again!

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    3. He truly is the hound of heaven, isn't He, E.G.?

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm honored you took the time to stop by.

      Peace and blessings to you.

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  11. Beautiful testimony. To God be the glory!

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    1. Amen to that, Cynthia!

      Thank you so much for stopping by.

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  12. Thanks for sharing your story, Deborah. What a beautiful outcome for what could have been a very sad tale.

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    1. Thank you for taking the time to read it, Traci. I appreciate your time.

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  13. Oh, Deborah--thank you for sharing your testimony with us. Congratulations on 30 years of marriage. Congratulations more on getting to spend eternity with THE man; the one GOOD man; the Son of Man; the Son of God.

    Wonderful story; praising God for your healing and that you were able to move past and move forward.

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    1. Thank you so much, Carol. I appreciate your kind words, and you.

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  14. Salvation isn't so much our quest, as God's quest for us -- each of us, personally, intimately, perfectly. What a truly beautiful story of redemption, restoration and grace. And congratulations on 30 years of marriage. Our Heavenly Father just loves to lavish His children with GOOD gifts, doesn't He?

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    1. He sure does, Cindee. :-)

      I so appreciate you stopping by. Your words encouraged me. Thank you so much!

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  15. Deb,
    I couldn't stop reading this. Only the Lord our God can make you shine after going through what you did. He is truly our only hope. I'm so happy you found Jesus.

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    1. Amen to that, Pat. Nobody else could have brought a spark out of me, let alone a shine. :-)

      I hope you know how much I appreciate you, sister.

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  16. Deb- It never ceases to amaze me how the Lord will use our pain to create something beautiful. Blessings sister- thank you for sharing your trial and triumph!

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    1. He always does, doesn't He? :-)

      Thank you for stopping by, Terrie.

      Blessings back at you, sister.

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